PLEASE NOTE: To protect your safety in response to the threats of COVID-19, we are offering our clients the ability to meet with us via telephone or through video conferencing. Please call our office to discuss your options. Learn More
Open: Menu Lesser Lutrey Pasquesi & Howe, LLP
Call Now to Begin a Consultation
Open: Practice Areas

Don't let sibling rivalry affect your estate after death

Sibling rivalry is a real problem in some families. No matter what their parents do, siblings will sometimes feel that they're treated unfairly.

As you prepare your estate, it's important to consider the potential for your children to have that rivalry after you pass away. You can take steps to pass on assets to them in a way that won't allow them to fight with one another. If you do, you may be able to help keep the peace even after you're gone.

What are some good ways to approach estate planning when your children act like rivals?

One good option is to start by recognizing those underlying conflicts. Talk to your children about why they're fighting with one another or what spurs their rivalry. If you can get an understanding of it, you can take steps to make them feel like they're even. Resentment among siblings does sometimes exist, but knowing that, you can put safeguards into your estate to prevent it from impacting its distribution later.

Another good idea is to introduce your family members to your financial advisors, attorney and others involved in your case. These individuals will all be involved in your estate plans, so they should know your children and any heirs who may later cause a conflict. Having an open discussion could help prevent one, too.

Finally, take the time to communicate what you want to see happen after you pass away. Tell your children what you want each of them to have while you're still alive, so you can deal with any conflicts immediately. For example, if you're going to leave a house to one child and $50,000 to the other, one may argue that it's not fair. Talk to them about your decision and why you've made it. Their input could help you, too. It may be that something you've considered is unfair, and you would then have time to reassess.

This is your estate plan, so you should design it how you want

In the end, it's up to you to build an estate plan that protects your assets and encourages your heirs and beneficiaries to take what they're given. Your attorney and advisors will work with you to put safeguards in place to prevent conflicts or will-related disputes, so that you can rest easy knowing that your children's sibling rivalry won't carry over into ruining your estate plans in the future.

No Comments

Leave a comment
Comment Information

How Can I Help You?

Bold labels are required.

Contact Information

The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.


Privacy Policy


Lesser Lutrey Pasquesi & Howe, LLP
191 E. Deerpath Suite 300
Lake Forest, IL 60045

Phone: 847-295-8800
Fax: 847-295-8886
Lake Forest Law Office Map

Chicago Office
161 N. Clark Street
Suite 1600
Chicago, IL 60601

Phone: 847-295-8800
Fax: 312-523-2001
Chicago Law Office Map

  • Facebook
  • Linked In
  • Twitter